o u t t a k e s

Sometimes we have deep and passionate discussions on the CastleTlanth list. And then sometimes, we come up with stuff like this.

Remalna Marguerite: C&C--The Bloopers!

In the scene where Mel's at a party at the Marquise of Merindar's house...

Marquise: (being mysterious) They say a starliss is for ambition and--
Mel: sneeze Achoo! I'm allergic to that thing...sneeze--excuse me! (runs off)
Marquise: >:(

The director's cut

Vidanric: Mel! Darling! I absolutely adore you... (kisses Mel)
(enter Wren and Tyron)
Wren: Eewwwww...I'm like, SO grossed out!
Tyron: Ahhhhhhh!!! I'm blind!
Vidanric: (death-glare)
Director: How many times do I have to tell you?! You're in #8--get OFF my set!!! Cut! Cut!

Conjugal...animosity? What?

Vidanric: Hey! You're leaving me for Flauvic? You're leaving me for a tree??????
Mel: I'm environmentally friendly--get over it!
Vidanric: (sweat drop)

When Mel confronts Flauvic near the end

Mel: Oh do go on Flauvic, revealing me your master-plan while a nearly undiscernable-rumbling-magic-sounding-noise builds up is so brilliant....

same scene, switch the players

Flauvic: (swirls his black cape) Vidanric! I...am...your...father!
Vidanric: Gah? (faints)
Director: Cut!! Idiot! "Cousin"--"cousin"!

a while later

Flauvic: Vidanric! I am your cousin!
Duke of Savona: (bored) Yeah? Welcome to the club buddy....

Sherwood Smith: Outtakes--Part Deux

Take One: The characters have been brought to Earth for CD: The Movie.

(Tamara is sitting on the set, having her nails done. She's listening to her portable CD player with earphones.)
Tamara: "Hey, Mel. Pass me that Jewel CD, will ya?"
Mel: "No, wait, you gotta try this one. It's weird with a beard." (Passes CD.)
(Tamara looks. Frowns in puzzlement.)
Tamara: "Eminem? What kind of a name is that?"
Steven Speilberg breezes in, looks around, frowns.
Steven: "Hey! We got a take to do! Where are the guys?"
Mel waves a hand. "Try the freeway."
Steven: "Say what?"
Mel: "Vidanric discovered Porsches. The guys are all drag racing up Pacific Coast Highway."

Take Two: The characters discover L.A. smog:

Steven: "All right, roll cameras!"
Mel: koff! gag!
Vidanric: wheeze, wheeze!
Flauvic: Murfle, blorg!
Tamara: Hacka hacka! >gasp<

Take Three: The Characters Discover Why You Look Both Ways:

Steven: And here is Hollywood Blvd, one of the busiest--whoa, look out for
that bus--
<splorch>
Steven: Well, it was time to start shooting Harry Potter II anyway....